# Pastebin qyTGRwkJ
11:16 AM <&cybersqyd> Okay so what're y'alls first impressions here?
11:17 AM <BlueJones> I personally enjoyed this one. Still had the same problems as the previous tales of "strange alien seeing our world" cliché BUT its... fresher? I guess. Idk this one is a bit different from the rest
11:18 AM <DrMoned> Some of it is a bit oddly worded, but I liked it overall
11:18 AM <red3> I enjoy how more real this feels with its depictions of a person from a wildly different culture approaching the Foundation, even if it does feel repetitive at times with Tyhjä doing his whole "Woah, I didn't know about this so let me explore this in an awkward manner" shtick over and over again.
11:18 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:19 AM <&cybersqyd> Tyhjä definitely feels more alien than the other characters did
11:19 AM <&cybersqyd> I think there's some really nice characterisation here?
11:20 AM <BlueJones> Agreeing with red here, like its more alien with Tyhjä but it also improves his characterisation
11:20 AM <red3> I do like the descriptions of him feeling alienated a lot more than Alai's first tale.
11:20 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:20 AM <&cybersqyd> what do you all think of the art here?
11:20 AM <DrMoned> Yeah, the constant feeling of being off foot feels a lot better here
11:20 AM <&cybersqyd> I like it's inclusion?
11:20 AM <DrMoned> I like it and think the roughness sort of adds to them quickly sketching as they go
11:20 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:20 AM <BlueJones> The art is nice and its words underneath. Did zyn draw these herself
11:21 AM <BlueJones> ?
11:21 AM <red3> I wished it had been more scientific, kinda like in the style of the drawings from Da Vinci's journals, but including them either way makes it feel more real.
11:21 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah she did
11:21 AM <&cybersqyd> tbf, Tyhjä isn't a scientist tho?
11:21 AM <red3> I thought Tyhjä was the artist.
11:21 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:22 AM <&cybersqyd> my point was like, he's not a scientist so it makes sense they aren't scientific drawings?
11:23 AM <BlueJones> Makes sense there, plus he wouldn't exactly be one to grab a bird and like dissect it for art
11:23 AM <red3> Yeah, but I was under the impressions that he was doing this to bring it home to his empire, so he'd probably need to make an anatomically correct drawing.
11:23 AM <red3> But that's kinda picking at straws.
11:23 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:24 AM <red3> I do wish that the descriptions had been a little more... artsy? Like, I wished they were described from more of the perspective of an artist. More in-depth and purple descriptions about its form and how each thing moves rather than just the blank, "It moved from a to b", that's used a lot in this article.
11:24 AM <BlueJones> Now that you say that, it does get repetitive
11:25 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:26 AM <&cybersqyd> Mark Kiryu showing up was a nice touch; I have a soft spot for him
11:27 AM <BlueJones> I actually don't know much about Mark Kiryu but he's likable
11:27 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:27 AM <&cybersqyd> he's a major character in Zyn's Kiryu Labs stuff
11:27 AM <red3> I had some confusion in the last section. Is Tyhjä just talking to Alai or is there another person there?
11:28 AM <&cybersqyd> Clear Evening is too
11:28 AM <&cybersqyd> Clear Evening is Tyhjä's sister; and she's brought Alai to talk to Tyhjä
11:28 AM <&cybersqyd> only Alai is standing extremely close and making Tyhjä uncomfortable
11:28 AM <red3> So, Clear Evening was there from the beginning of the section?
11:29 AM <&cybersqyd> ...at least, that's my interpretation? it's possible Clear Evening is more...metaphorical here and being use like in the sense we'd use e.g, 'god why are you doing this to me'
11:30 AM <&cybersqyd> > He blinked a few times, attempting to edge away slightly without seeming rude, and he noticed his sister sheepishly leaning against a nearby wall.
11:30 AM <&cybersqyd> Oh no, his sister is real, she just...appears? sometime?
11:30 AM <red3> Oh, I'm just being a dummy dingo, then.
11:30 AM <&cybersqyd> that last section isn't hugely well done imo
11:30 AM <&cybersqyd> like, two people just kinda...appear?
11:30 AM <red3> Yeah, there's no clear introduction for either of them.
11:31 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:31 AM <SharpEmbrace> isn't that intentional?
11:31 AM <&cybersqyd> I think so
11:31 AM <&cybersqyd> Like, it does a good job of conveying that Tyhjä isn't paying attention
11:32 AM <&cybersqyd> How do y'all feel about this as a part of the series so far?
11:33 AM <SharpEmbrace> i don't feel like we get a lot of character development, which we kinda need at this point, but it's better written than the other bits
11:33 AM <red3> I do like the use of italics and how it blends into the overall narrative writing rather than just being a substitute for the character thinking to themselves. It makes it blend in more while still accomplishing its goal.
11:33 AM <BlueJones> I mean I didn't notice his sister was there, I sort of glazed my way through it because I tried to catch up with all of you 😅 On a whole, the series is nostalgic and good but its repeatitive with their themes
11:33 AM <&cybersqyd> SharpEmbrace, yeah I can agree; it's a nice slice of life piece but it's there's really not enough substance to this as a tale?
11:34 AM <&cybersqyd> or well, substance to this as part of a tale series
11:34 AM <&cybersqyd> idk. it feels. very disconnected?
11:34 AM <red3> All of these stories so far just seem to be really poorly executed pieces of character development which don't add up to a greater plot.
11:34 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:34 AM <&cybersqyd> well, some of them have been relatively well executed tbf
11:35 AM <red3> Again, an overarching narrative could force a lot of these characters into choices which would both show their character traits and also make them more memorable to the audience because, then, they're associated with the events rather than them just going through their daily lives.
11:35 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:35 AM <&cybersqyd> I think even like,,,narrative within each tale would help more?
11:36 AM <BlueJones> mhm, just like an end goal for these narratives would be a neat and satisfying thing to see
11:36 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:36 AM <SharpEmbrace> things happen but i'm not really seeing any direction
11:36 AM <red3> I mean, there was a very small plot in-between Collecting and From On High, but those don't really lead anywhere. They're just as isolated as everything else in this series.
11:36 AM <SharpEmbrace> they're just kind of /there/
11:37 AM <&cybersqyd> Even with Collecting/From On High, it didn't feel so much like,,,there was something driving the plot so much as the plot just,,,unfolding?
11:37 AM <red3> Yeah, there was nothing outside of the character's control that forced them to take action. It was just them deciding one day out of the blue to do something.
11:37 AM <&cybersqyd> DrMoned, you've been kinda quiet: got any thoughts for us?
11:38 AM <&cybersqyd> not to put you on the spot or anything
11:38 AM <&cybersqyd> red3, yeah, pretty much.
11:39 AM <&cybersqyd> (I'm kinda curious of your view here just cos coming in, you'd already read this stuff and enjoyed it, and it feels like you'd offer some more positive views on this?)
11:39 AM <SharpEmbrace> Yeah, even when the characters have evident flaws/character dilemmas they don't really grow from their experiences
11:39 AM <&cybersqyd> yeah
11:40 AM <&cybersqyd> Does anyone have anything else to add or should we wrap it up here?
11:40 AM <red3> I think we should wrap it up. There's not much else to gain.
11:42 AM <&cybersqyd> Okay well, lets meet up again at say, 10 to to talk about the next tale?
11:42 AM <&cybersqyd> Quick break for snacks and drinks and stuff :3
11:42 AM <BlueJones> Cool cool!