# Pastebin qLq2wHgp 11:20 AM <~barredowl> alright. so, shall we start with our first impressions? 11:21 AM <+cybersqyd> i like this, though i'm iffy on it being horror 11:22 AM <~barredowl> i think i like it too: it feels a bit melodramatic at times with it conveying horror, but overall i think it was good 11:22 AM <%red3> I enjoy the level of information this gives. It admits a lot when it comes to the effect and little when it comes to the story. I know who's most likely to get infected, who is immune, etc. but I don't know the motives of this sloth. While the dialogue borders on cheesy at times with the constant stuttering, it does give me a good image of the horror. 11:22 AM Its more existential horror than other horror I think. Its certainly giving me a bit of a shiver about "seeing your body but your not in control" but it is only a bit, not a lot 11:22 AM Not bad, the "imagery" portrayed is not bad (the photo makes me think to the art cover of the Daughters album, "You Can't Get What You Want", dunno if it's the correct title) but the interviews don't really convey a strong feeling on me. 11:23 AM <~barredowl> red3: yeah, i'm with you on the stuttering. and i do appreciate the detail 11:24 AM <%red3> The inclusion of the sloth is also a really good effect. With something like full-body paralysis, the fear doesn't come from the fact that the person is unable to defend themselves. If that was a fear, then people would avoid sleeping altogether because that paralyses your body. The fear comes from the fact that there's a threat you can see right in front of you, but you know that you can't do anything about it. 11:24 AM <~barredowl> i'm sorta ambivalent as to the actual potency of the interviews itself 11:24 AM <~barredowl> but more leaning towards it being effective for me 11:25 AM <%red3> I didn't enjoy the third interview as much. I would've liked it more if the sloth was just a completely mindless being that didn't have any goals or motivations. Just a monster that haunts people in a terrifying way. 11:26 AM <+cybersqyd> i liked the third interview personally 11:26 AM <+cybersqyd> it felt like it really was a moment to showcase the scp escalating and it was like...pretty good for that 11:26 AM <+cybersqyd> my, bigger concern is that it ends there? 11:26 AM Its very effective at playing on the subtle fear. Any normal person who has not experienced this kind of fear or at least seeing something akin to this is perhaps a good skip. But to someone who has had something like this as a fear, its quite effective. I like the slough more, as red says, a good effect but shouldn't really need a goal. Just does it and moves on 11:26 AM <+cybersqyd> it feels like that'd make a good start to the story, and not so good an end to it 11:28 AM <~barredowl> i think so, too 11:28 AM <%red3> I agree that escalation can make something like this more horrifying, but it does so in a way that characterizes the sloth. It gives the sloth motivation in that it wants to control peoples' bodies and makes them fight. That takes away from the horror. 11:28 AM <~barredowl> this sorta has that thing i've observed in a lot of earlier articles, wherein there's not really, like, a conclusion, but the piece still works 11:28 AM Mwerf. Pretty ambivalent about that. I don't really know if I like that or not. 11:29 AM <~barredowl> tanhony is an embodiment of this; their endings are very, almost playful, and they don't really feel like endings. feels like there's something more, honestly. i think that goes for short vignette-y pieces, too 11:29 AM <+cybersqyd> i...kinda read the fight more as it testing it's control abilities than it's ultimate goal tbh 11:30 AM Quite, this has given me a hunger to see something more conclusive than a note saying they are gonna terminate 6,200 people due to this anomaly. Then again, its also rather chilling, to have a note be "we're going to terminate these people because of this" rather than try to find something that would save them. Just kill them and then find a way to kill the main anomaly but that's my two cents about the meanign of 11:30 AM the ending with the Foundation's actions 11:32 AM <%red3> barredowl: Yeah, non-endings work when they give the reader room to imagine the implications of this anomaly. I kind of agree with Cyber that the fight was it more testing its abilities than acting out its plan, but the problem was moreso the fact that in doing so, it revealed something human about the sloth. The sloth hates people and wants to see them broken down and destroyed. 11:32 AM <%red3> > The last time, it made us fight, remember that a few days ago? That was the thing doing it, I could see it twisting them… It's been changing too. B-becoming darker, more… solid. Like, after the time that- 11:32 AM <%red3> I mostly got that from this section ^ 11:32 AM <~barredowl> mm 11:33 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah but i...don't know; i read that in a kinda eldritch horror way where it's not necessarily that that's what the sloth wants so much as how the person is interpreting what the sloth wants 11:34 AM Same here. Upon a more detailed look at that quote, I red it more like an eldritch being seeing what a human is like, and less like a being with a plan. 11:34 AM <~barredowl> huh 11:35 AM <%red3> Maybe, but it still puts that idea in my mind. I think that if there was no explanation at all for why it's doing what it's doing, implying that it's just a wild animal with horrifying abilities, then it would work better. It's like looking at a giant spider that can inject you with gallons of venom with one bite. It doesn't hate you, it just does what it was designed to do. And that makes it more scary to me 11:35 AM <%red3> personally. 11:36 AM Mhm 11:36 AM <%red3> I also agree with Blue that the ending doesn't really contribute much besides just closing a plot hole. That plot hole being "Why isn't the Foundation doing something to help this?" In order to avoid the Foundation of this article being seen as obnoxiously cold, it kind of has to be there. So while I think it's necessary, I didn't like it when I read it. 11:38 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah, the ending feeels like a noteable weakpoint here 11:38 AM <~barredowl> i think in that regard, yeah, the ending sorta seems perfunctory 11:39 AM <%red3> The crossed-out sections also annoyed me once I read the addendum. Like, even if they are being killed, why shouldn't the Foundation treat them with care? Why shouldn't they allow subjects to trade items during their free time? It's not like the Foundation's going to be killing them around the clock. 11:39 AM Have to go to dinner, people. Just, for my thoughts, feeling a light to decent novote. I wasn't enough into it, tbh. 11:40 AM Honestly, if the Foundation acted more like an observer rather than heroes/doing the right thing, I'd enjoy the Foundation's role more and more. Like, yes, inaction would make the Foundation seem cold but they are a scientific community first, not the GOC so I'd have said that the article would benefit from the Foundation seeing what happens later on BUT if it gets way too out of hand (IE personnel start getting 11:40 AM infected) then I'd think the Foundation should step in and start pruning them 11:40 AM <~barredowl> Pighead: have a good dinner :D 11:40 AM <%red3> I guess it's to get people to not empathize with them before murdering them, but it gave me the impression that this was something that was starting to spread between people like a virus. 11:40 AM <+cybersqyd> mmm 11:41 AM <%red3> BlueJones: Yeah, you summed up my feelings pretty well. If the Foundation just analyzed what was happening and stopped it from spreading, then the reader would be left with the impression that these people are just stuck this way until they die. They can't kill themselves since they have no control, they can't starve or die of dehydration, and they don't have the mental capacity to think for more than a few seconds. 11:45 AM <~barredowl> alright. anybody have anything else to say before we can try and wrap this one up? 11:46 AM Exactly! Like, yes its horrific, but as I see people constantly say: "The Foundation is neither good nor evil. They're grey." Meaning they shouldn't really care if these people are loosing themselves to the slough if it means getting data and science points to expand their understanding and possibly even come up with some sort of anti-memetic anomaly to counter act the skip's power. And as you rightly said red3, the 11:46 AM reader would be left with the feeling that if the Foundation won't act, these people would remain in this state for who knows how long, playing on the soughs horror even more 11:46 AM Sorry, wanted to get that out haha 11:46 AM <~barredowl> no worries 11:48 AM <%red3> Yeah. Overall, this is going to be a light upvote from me. While it didn't scare me personally and there are a few poorly-phrased sentences, this works well as a horror scip with a very unique concept that's executed well. 11:48 AM <~barredowl> i think i've mostly exhausted what i feel about this piece. overall, pretty nice, though the interviews do get a touch melodramatic/cheesy and the ending feels sorta inconclusive and somewhat poorly executed. 11:48 AM <~barredowl> i think this is a light/medium upvote from me. 11:48 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah i'm novoting 11:48 AM <+cybersqyd> it has bits i like but i don't think it does enough 11:49 AM If we're moving onto our votes, I'm feelin that this is worth a light updoot however I may be swayed more if people can come up a more solid basis for a downvote purpose if that makes sense