# Pastebin d4MV80i0
12:08 PM <~barredowl> so, do we want to give some first impressions?
12:08 PM <~barredowl> i'll admit, i glazed over a couple times while reading this. might have just been my reading environment, but my attention wasn't really kept all the way through.
12:08 PM <Pighead> Done!
12:08 PM <~barredowl> i liked a lot of the dynamics with the mr. night figure
12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:09 PM <+cybersqyd> there's a lot that's nice but it feels...too long?
12:09 PM <BlueJones> I just want to say that in the last log, there was jojo reference in it :P also first impressions of this, I'd say, is a stunning conclusion
12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah, this is a long 'un
12:09 PM <+cybersqyd> none of it in particular is bad so much as it not having a strong enough driving narrative i think
12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah the fucking stand
12:09 PM <~barredowl> that kinda caught me off guard, like "what?"
12:10 PM <~barredowl> i don't really have any clear story i made out of this, tbh. it didn't keep my attention. that might just be my fault, though.
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> oh you mean the bit where Disco-Purple is all 'Under Pressure' and conjures up a gold humanoid?
12:10 PM <~barredowl> yeah
12:10 PM <BlueJones> yep
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> i didn't realise it was a stand thing
12:10 PM <+red3> So, this has a few problems, but it's also the first article of this story where I really felt like things actually happened. There were consequences for his actions and there were lasting effects to this whole story. With that, however, I fully agree with Cyber that this piece is incredibly, incredibly bloated. It feels like the first five articles were around 10% of the story and this is just the other 90%. There's no 
12:10 PM <+red3> real time to learn anything because terms and designations and events are just thrown at the reader with no time for them to really grasp it as much as the death of Stormbreath. It was schlocky, action-y fun, but that's all it is.
12:10 PM <Pighead> Well, for my first impressions, I like the worldbuilding in it. And the multiple crosslinks. I like crosslinks.
12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> tbf a lot of the terms/designations are standard goc things
12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> they love their impenetrable jargon
12:11 PM <~barredowl> yeah i thought the crosslinks were pretty good
12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah it ties into other stuff nicely
12:11 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i thought when i was paying attention this was a lot of fun.
12:12 PM <+red3> That's true to some extent. And there were some crosslinks which I felt weren't needed, but the crosslink to Ol' Shock really got me.
12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:12 PM <~barredowl> i was kinda confused at what hy-brasil was for a couple.
12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> like, it's fun but it feels...
12:12 PM <BlueJones> I love that they also state that this world is different from the canons we know
12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> very accurately like a dossier on Mr Night?
12:12 PM <+red3> I wish that that footnote that explained what it was was put a lot earlier, yeah.
12:12 PM <Pighead> Plus, also, Red is right about the fact that there's more things who happens.
12:12 PM <Pighead> Maybe it's mainly because the GOC was more busy about the case of Night.
12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:13 PM <Pighead> Like, even the UIU had investigated less about him.
12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> i...don't end up hating this but i also don't like it
12:13 PM <~barredowl> the GOC format is like, not the best to run through, i'll be honest.
12:13 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i'm middle-of-the-road with this one.
12:13 PM <BlueJones> Pighead: UIUseless
12:13 PM <~barredowl> goc is very... dense.
12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> Yeah, it really is a weakness of the GOC format
12:13 PM <~barredowl> almost unreadable at points.
12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> it's...not good for storytelling
12:14 PM <Pighead> They had just no money, they're cool.
12:14 PM <~barredowl> i agree there, cyber.
12:14 PM <+red3> Right, I felt like if the story was expanded to show the entire progression of the Chicago Spectre with the occasional intimate moment with Night, that this would be a lot better. The use of the GoI formats would be a lot less dry since the reader would be seeing the dawn of a new, global group unfolding before their eyes. If every article was like this, where each piece was a lot larger and packed a whole lot more... 
12:14 PM <+red3> stuff, then I'd like this series a lot more.
12:15 PM <~barredowl> definitely.
12:15 PM <BlueJones> I think Cal's GOC format does a better job of grasping storyteling with the format BUT aside from that, I am quite pleased with this. Tons of worldbuilding and a bit more of analytical look into Mr. Night
12:15 PM <~barredowl> GOC is very reliant on the story being told. there's not a lot of charm in the format itself, unlike something like WWS.
12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:16 PM <~barredowl> not to say WWS can't be used to tell stories, or that it can get away with having none
12:16 PM <@Calibri_Bold> Oh yeah, I can confirm that the GOC format is one of the single most awful formats to work with on the site.
12:16 PM <~barredowl> just that when it comes to WWS i'm usually a lot more level-headed
12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> Cal: the nobody format is hell to write in
12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> Cal: or at least, the old school one
12:16 PM → SharpEmbrace (was BusyEmbrace) joined  
12:17 PM <~barredowl> so yeah, that's basically my position.
12:17 PM <~barredowl> i am... suitably ambivalent.
12:17 PM <+cybersqyd> mm yeah
12:17 PM <+red3> The GOC format was the only one that I really felt scared of using because I would just mess up the terminology. Going back on the article itself, though, there were enough grammatical errors that I actually felt annoyed at having read them. There were one or two in the previous article, but they're a lot more prevalent here to the point where I got confused several times.
12:17 PM <~barredowl> the goc format is dense as all hell and got me skipping certain parts cause i just couldn't take it at points.
12:18 PM <+cybersqyd> mm
12:18 PM <Pighead> My position is that I probably need to re-read the series as a whole. There's some articles that I've missed and maybe that if I made one big read, I will be able to have a better view of all that.
12:18 PM <~barredowl> i might backtrack and read some earlier ones but idk
12:19 PM <Pighead> For what I've read, I enjoyed it. But my readings of that were all too "spaced" for me having a big opinion about all the series.
12:19 PM <~barredowl> yea
12:19 PM <~barredowl> so, do we want to conclude with some wrapping-up points, or do you think we're good to end this real quick?
12:20 PM <+red3> From a person that has read the entire series, the only thing that's really noteworthy is the character that's just a pair of pants. They were alluded to in the initial tale as one of the other urban legends like Mr. Night within the Chicago Spirit. Other than that, this stands on its own pretty well. I do like how this overlaps with a lot of the other stories, though.
12:20 PM <~barredowl> that's fair.
12:21 PM <~barredowl> i downvoted partially because this was a little too dense and long for my liking, but there were some nuggets of good stuff here.
12:21 PM <BlueJones> I think this is the strongest point of the seires. Also Leggy, according to the author post, is an old member of the Spirit that now works for the Spectre
12:23 PM <BlueJones> I'd updoot it cause I love the GOC files and I love how the Spectre are known as the Disco due to them playing with lasers
12:23 PM <+cybersqyd> I'm no voting cos there's a lot I like and a lot I dislike and it evens out to 'eh'
12:24 PM <+red3> I'm upvoting because this genuinely feels like a good installment in the series, but I'm downvoting the hub page since this series as a whole is horribly paced with very little narrative tension and no motivation to continue reading each and every article that doesn't drive the story forward.