# Pastebin XzUtdT8Y 12:16 PM <~barredowl> shall we start with our first impressions, all? 12:16 PM Absolutely fun article. 12:16 PM <~barredowl> i, for one, really liked this. had a nice feel to it, and the prose was great. 12:16 PM <~barredowl> was very fun 12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> I didn't enjoy it and I don't really know why 12:16 PM Self contained narrative that's thoroughly enjoyable and great prose. 12:17 PM I liked it a lot 12:17 PM <+cybersqyd> Like all the individual elements are good but there's just...something that meant I ended up feeling like I was forcing myself to read more of it 12:17 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i can see how some parts might not be interesting to some. 12:17 PM <~barredowl> my attention was held through the whole thing, personally. 12:17 PM <~barredowl> pretty much 12:17 PM <@Gee0765> imo, this is how you start a series 12:17 PM ^ agreed. 12:17 PM I think that SCP-3396 was like "OK, not understand that", but this Tale... 12:17 PM SPECTACULAR worldbuilding. 12:17 PM This is how you keep my interest. 12:18 PM I freaking love this. Like this is how you hold people's attention while also do character building /and/ world building at the same time (I mostly see one or the other but this... this is good) 12:19 PM I mean, not only we know what become the two human subjects of the SCP after the tests, but plus, these same human subjects and a former Foundation member create a city of mutants when the people fight for their right to live? Yes, please. 12:19 PM <~barredowl> yeah, that's pretty cool 12:20 PM I felt like the transition between the character at the start into the Queen of Spades was very rushed, but I can't deny that the level of detail here was exquisite and the imagery was infuriating good. The portrayal of the Foundation as just anomalous Nazis is something which I am tired of seeing, and there are plenty of moments in here that feel very cliche and forced, but there's something about the writing here that 12:20 PM makes them enjoyable to me. 12:20 PM I agree with the Nazi thing, that's definitely my least favorite part of the whole tale. 12:21 PM <+cybersqyd> ehh 12:21 PM <@Gee0765> they weren't presented as nazis really 12:21 PM <@Gee0765> it was more used as an insult 12:21 PM <+cybersqyd> i interpreted is more...metaphorically? like she's angry at the foundation and their treatment of her; rather than them just being literal anomalous nazis 12:22 PM the sentiment of having the word Nazi used kinda felt jarring and disonnant the first time 12:22 PM Well, I can see what the characters go when they insult them as nazis, like Sqyd said. 12:22 PM <~barredowl> hmm. i really don't know what more to say about this. 12:22 PM Don't forget the fact they have to deal with bad mutants and the Foundation/what remains of Normalcy protection agencies. I do love the ending of this spectacular stand-off between the Foundation and Old Vegas. And by golly I love Monica as a character and her life from the day she became infected 12:23 PM but then again you have to look at the last bit where the Foundation comes and they're basically portrayed as overconfident and intolerant 12:23 PM <@Gee0765> now, were they presented as anomalous fascists? 12:23 PM The human subjects are what they are because the Foundation had not treated them well. Monica was just the one who said "Fuck it, I will not let take us our liberty one more time." 12:23 PM <@Gee0765> sort of, yes 12:23 PM Well, that's what I mean. The Foundation as a concept feels a lot more interesting than just stating that they're multi-national Nazis that contain monsters. The only true political embodiment the Foundation really has is total and complete totalitarianism, which opens a lot more doors. I feel like that could be explored a lot more than just that one angle. 12:23 PM <@Gee0765> but then that's generally my headcanon of them 12:23 PM Very much not a "small foundation" canon here Greyve :p 12:23 PM Gee0765: I mean fascist when I saw Nazi, yes. 12:23 PM Monica is a fantastic character, agreed 12:23 PM *say 12:24 PM The lucky sevens tangent was well explored too, it wasnt stuck on to the side 12:24 PM <~barredowl> yeah, monica is fun. norman, too 12:24 PM So, yeah, this is why they treat them as nazis, because they're angry at them and pretty much mad at them and Old Vegas is for them their only home and they don't want to go or surrender or shit like that. 12:24 PM DrMoned: Agreed that it's not a small foundation canon easily, what I meant was that the last bit comes of as stereotypical "evil corporation monologue" 12:24 PM Ah 12:24 PM DrMoned: Yes, I absolutely loved that section. The way that traditional tropes like "Daddy issues" were flipped tickled me in a really interesting way. 12:24 PM It's not literal, but just their personal metaphor, who is birthed from the anger and the... "terror", I guess? 12:25 PM DrMoned: I was really entranced by the transition into the lucky sevens bit 12:25 PM red3 agreed 12:25 PM Every part of it where it went off on a tangent it nicely looped it back onto the main storyline and didnt leave it hanging 12:26 PM In all cases, really wonderful start. The interactions between characters are really well-written, the characters are really cool, the presentation of each little group is fantastic and I definitely see why Monica is seen as a fantastic character. 12:26 PM — Greyve nod nod nod 12:26 PM <~barredowl> yeah. and this is like, self-contained while also wanting me to learn more about the canon. this is a good piece of the canon imo 12:26 PM I will say that I'm not really a fan of the Avengers style of ending here. It might be personal taste, but I would've liked something a lot more than just anomalous superheroes that are fighting against the Foundation. I would've liked to see a little more nuance in the Foundation than just "Take back the anomalous and kill whoever disagrees". If the entire Foundation acted like how Jake does, recognizing the changing 12:26 PM landscape of the world, I feel like the situation would've gone more in line with something that I enjoy a lot more: intricate, asymmetrical warfare. 12:27 PM ^ completely agreed here. 12:27 PM Having there be political and emotional elements to every engagement, having there be disagreements among the ranks and different perspectives on how to fight. Something like that to make this distinct from the dozen other big "Good guys v. bad guys" stories I see on a daily basis. 12:27 PM Like I said, the ending feels too cliche and it presents the Foundation as "oh no stereotypical bad guys" 12:27 PM <~barredowl> yeah, that might be an interesting perspective to explore 12:27 PM red3 I agree a bit, but feel like perhaps Cadaver didnt want to string out the ending 12:28 PM Intoducing a new portrayal of the Foundation might have been a bit much? idk 12:28 PM — Greyve shrug 12:28 PM — ~barredowl shrugs in tandem 12:28 PM I don't think it would have been too hard in my opinion 12:28 PM <@Gee0765> i mean this does take a different angle to a lot of things 12:29 PM change up the dialogue 12:29 PM <~barredowl> yeah, indeed it does 12:29 PM <@Gee0765> in that it isn't purely anti-totalitarian 12:29 PM <~barredowl> 3396, admittedly, sets us up to think these humanoids are just delusional and swayed by the anomalous, but here you really get a window into their worldview 12:29 PM Perhaps. It's hard for me to argue this point, though, because it's really a matter of where the story is going as a whole. It's the equivalent of me criticizing a romance novel for not being a thriller or a thriller for not being a Sci-fi mystery. Or, in this case, a hammy non-political revolution tale for not being a serious, politically-charged revolution tale. 12:31 PM <~barredowl> huh. 12:31 PM — Greyve huh in tandem 12:31 PM Is that a confusion "huh" or an agreement "huh". 12:31 PM <~barredowl> agreement huh 12:32 PM 'K. 12:32 PM <~barredowl> so, anybody have anything to add to this? 12:32 PM <~barredowl> i think i've said everything that needs to be said about this piece; the prose, the characterization, the pacing, the worldbuilding, all really good. 12:32 PM <~barredowl> this is a strong upvote from he. 12:32 PM <~barredowl> *me. 12:33 PM This is all really great. From its world to its characters it all fits together nice and snug. Strong upvote from me! 12:33 PM I feel like a strong to a... strong upvote. On this thing. 12:33 PM barredowl: I totally agree on that point. The dissonance between the first file and this one is jarring, to the point where it gives the illusion of character growth. It's a very clever tactic and helps to secretly display the two sides of the issue, even if those two sides are pretty shallow. 12:34 PM Strong upvote from me. I didn't read the former, though, so I may be biased, but IMO this is an absolutely spectacular tale. 12:34 PM Very much a strong upvote 12:35 PM I'm at a strong novote to a light upvote on this. The writing is excellent if a bit unpolished in the middle and ending. I do hope that it flips back and forth from these perspectives, as it has established thus far. That'll be a very interesting path to take, making both sides sympathetic and constantly flipping who the reader wants to win. 12:36 PM <~barredowl> yeah, understandable