# Pastebin XA2GV7yV 12:04 PM <~barredowl> so, first impressions? 12:04 PM <~barredowl> i, for one, definitely enjoyed the exchange in the middle, though at points it felt a tiny bit directionless? 12:04 PM <~barredowl> i thought it was gonna continue for a little longer than that, i guess 12:04 PM <~barredowl> but this seems like an introductory piece to a long line of tales, so i guess that's its purpose 12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> the interview is fun 12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> the attached documents feel..dry? 12:06 PM <~barredowl> i thought there was moreso only one attached document other than the interview 12:06 PM I loved Donkman and his game with the Foundation. Like, for an anomaly about man with donkey head, its very interesting 12:06 PM I don't see why this had to be a full SCP. Its only purpose is to introduce the anomaly and have a little conversation with a Foundation agent. There's no theme, no real narrative, no real conflict. It's just a guy listing out his accomplishments in one interview log. 12:06 PM I've never been a huge fan of the donkman series? I've never read any of it in the full save today so I never had a full judgement 12:06 PM I agree with red3 12:06 PM <~barredowl> red3: unfortunately i'd have to agree. this just didn't seem like a standalone piece. 12:07 PM A lot of my feelings are summed up by a comment by Shaggy on this: "[it's] essentially [an] obligatory scp file on a preexisting character — it's only just above the level of a second hub." 12:07 PM <~barredowl> seeing as this seems very reliant on the other pieces i don't really have much to say about it without reading the other pieces 12:07 PM <~barredowl> just seems like a hook 12:08 PM <~barredowl> and that's it 12:08 PM yeah 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah it definitely feels that way yeah 12:08 PM <~barredowl> \ 12:08 PM <~barredowl> \whoops 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> that said, the interview feels charming enough that I don't necessarily hugely mind? 12:08 PM All SCPs should be able to stand alone and this really leaves an unfinished feel 12:08 PM <~barredowl> cybersqyd: i can see that 12:09 PM <~barredowl> in fact i can agree with that some bit 12:09 PM the interview didn't do much for me, but of course the whole piece didn't really either 12:10 PM cybersqyd: I vehemently disagree with that. Simply having a character have a southern accent and speak in a cliché way for 700 words is not a good way to give a piece charm. 12:10 PM I feel like the anomaly is also a bit boring? A humanoid donkey that people can't quite remember the look at. and the story in this is that they can't catch him. it just feels a little one-note 12:10 PM like once you read the description you have the whole piece 12:10 PM <~barredowl> hmm yeah 12:11 PM I agree with red3 on the interview 12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> red3, imo it's not just the accent and the way he speaks, but like, what he speaks about too? like, the tall tales and the kinda, self awareness of how silly the tales are and stuff 12:11 PM <~barredowl> i'm kinda in the middle in terms of agreeing with red3 or cyber 12:12 PM <~barredowl> because some parts do feel very cliched and trodden ground 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:12 PM im in the south though i didn't grow up here so I don't have a southern accent, but i hear southern accents all the time, so maybe that's part of it for me. like the whole sweet & southern silly thing that just doesn't hit for me 12:12 PM <~barredowl> but other points do have some charm to them? -\_(._. )_/- 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> i mean, it's...definitely a thing lacking in meat? but idk, i can't find myself disliking it fully. 12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> this really feels like it doesn't go wacky enough 12:13 PM like I feel like if you're gonna write a southern character you need to have more than a heavy accent because southern people are way beyond just a wacky accent 12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> like it's a story about a man with a donkeys head who gets up to shenanigans 12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> ...and there's really not many shenanigans here? 12:13 PM Simply being self-aware that a section of an article is unbelievable does not elevate it above the status of simply being bad. I held very little interest in the tales anyway, since all of them revolve around him being either extremely old, extremely fast, extremely strong, or an extremely good shot. Those stories could be attributed to any slightly southern cowboy-esque figure and it could work. There's nothing here 12:13 PM that feels inherently attached to the anomaly. 12:13 PM <~barredowl> yeah it could really go out there 12:13 PM I don't feel like its extreme enough to hit as a parody either 12:13 PM agreeing with cybersqyd 12:13 PM <~barredowl> i just wish there were a little more hijinks here to be honest 12:13 PM <~barredowl> which weren't in tales maybe 12:13 PM agreeing with red3 12:14 PM <+cybersqyd> the tales have more hijinks and stuff and i like 'em 12:14 PM <+cybersqyd> but this feels...more like a tale hub than a scp 12:14 PM <~barredowl> indeed 12:14 PM cybersqyd: Exactly my thoughts. 12:14 PM yeah 12:16 PM <~barredowl> but on the other hand, maybe adding more hijinks /could/ feel like treading the same ground as the tales? 12:16 PM <~barredowl> like, there could be something potentially interesting you could explore from the foundation's perspective in terms of catching donkman 12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:16 PM overall this piece just doesn't work for me on multiple levels. Like I feel like donkman could be a GoI/PoI sorta thing, but an SCP document wasn't entirely needed? I mean to me the whole donkman series is boring as all the hijinks feel flat and stereotypical 12:16 PM <~barredowl> but here it feels very surface-level 12:17 PM <+cybersqyd> i kinda like the donkman stuff just cos it feels...like a western but one content to be fun, and which is trying to avoid the usual not great cliches in westerns 12:17 PM DianaBerry: Exactly. 12:17 PM I really like history and this seems like it's supposed to have a historical component, but I don't see it 12:18 PM Yeah, we get introduced to the character and that's cool i guess but i now see there's very little past that 12:18 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah it's definitely not as historical as like, most of the stuff MalyceGraves puts out say 12:18 PM cybersqyd: yeah 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> i think this would be improved if it was about half the length it is now? 12:19 PM I would love if the historical part could be expanded upon. But again, the story is all a kinda old western thing, and it stays true to many cliche 12:19 PM like it feels like I'm not getting anything here that I can't find somewhere else 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> and tbf the historical part tends to come up more in tales and stuff 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> but yeah. it feels...surface level? 12:19 PM <~barredowl> maybe it could be used to explore the integration of tall tales and the like in american history? 12:20 PM <~barredowl> i'll probably stop talking about the donkman tale series seeing as all i know about it is hearsay from others 12:20 PM <~barredowl> in this discussion specifically 12:20 PM <+cybersqyd> the donkman tale series can be fun but *shrugs* 12:20 PM <~barredowl> hrmm 12:21 PM <~barredowl> so overall, there's a lot to improve here. i did like the elements here a little more than the first one, but i'd say this is a stronger downvote. 12:21 PM <~barredowl> partly because it feels very lackluster unfortunately 12:22 PM yeah, I agree 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> it's weirdly highly rated to me; cos it does really just feel like a kinda not great introduction to donkman 12:23 PM <~barredowl> yeah 12:23 PM I don't see much here that I like. Besides the things that I despise, the few things I don't just feel meh to me. I still think that this should be a PoI file that's attached to the man Donkman hub rather than its own SCP file. I'm downvoting this, and I don't think there's anything that this can do to change that besides completely revamp the narrative. 12:23 PM idk i really liked it on my first read but it feels decidedly meh now 12:23 PM yeah i agree 12:23 PM with barred and cyber 12:24 PM i agree with red3 12:24 PM <+cybersqyd> it's a shame cos like, i think donkman as a concept could be a really fun scp and i wish it executed on it more D: 12:24 PM <~barredowl> i do think that 12:25 PM <~barredowl> there is something which could be done in this 12:25 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:25 PM <~barredowl> i mentioned that the SCP format could bring a potentially new perspective for this 12:25 PM ← +DrAkimoto (uid389547@synIRC-B7D73B60.ealing.irccloud.com) was kicked by ~barredowl: karma 12:25 PM what 12:26 PM <~barredowl> and it's nothing 12:26 PM <~barredowl> well anyway 12:26 PM oner obuus 12:26 PM <~barredowl> i think that just sums up my opinion 12:26 PM :% 12:26 PM <+cybersqyd> SharpEmbrace, dw about it; the two of 'em are just goofin around 12:26 PM <~barredowl> there's quite a bit of potential in here 12:26 PM <~barredowl> it's just not exercised 12:26 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:27 PM <~barredowl> anybody have anything else to say 12:27 PM I think ive summed up my opinion too 12:28 PM Same. 12:28 PM <~barredowl> me too 12:28 PM <+cybersqyd> i don't have much to add