# Pastebin OYn7BaBG 12:00 PM <~barredowl> so, first impressions? 12:01 PM <+cybersqyd> i enjoy this 12:01 PM <+cybersqyd> it makes everyone feel, very human? 12:01 PM First impressions are, again, this being a very enjoyable piece. Idk much about Lovataar but this does make me more curious about the mistress 12:01 PM <~barredowl> i think i do too: i like the prose style, pretty methodical and nice. 12:01 PM <%red3> I liked the transition of the woman's lover from a revolutionary into Ion. It flows smoothly and effortlessly. 12:02 PM <~barredowl> i should note, a lot of the times i skim tales so sometimes i don't get a lot of the substance: going back, though, i really liked the emotions conveyed here. 12:03 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:03 PM <~barredowl> don't really have a lot to say about this: just think it's a good tale. 12:03 PM <+cybersqyd> it's a really nice little emotional thing 12:03 PM <%red3> None of the prose in the first part jumps out to me as particularly good. The dialogue uses a few cliches like stating "there is a price to be paid" and "I just wish that…" but they're not used in a way that takes me out of the story. There were also a few sentences where the reading difficult spikes and I have to stop for a moment just to figure out what it's saying. 12:04 PM Part of that last bit is a difficulty that I struggle with all the time 12:04 PM <%red3> The ending was great, though. Come to think of it, I haven't read a lot of articles that humanize Ion in this way. They always seem to just be this mythical figure whose only job is to be mythical and spit out prophecies every once in a while. 12:04 PM I parse phrasing in a weird-ass way 12:05 PM <%red3> I only saw hints of it through the articles, and it only overwhelmed me once. 12:05 PM <~barredowl> i think i've noticed that in some of the works i've read of yours a bit? as in, sometimes the phrasing gets a bit clumped up at parts and i have to slow down a little. 12:05 PM <%red3> > A flash of indignation at the insinuation was quickly dispelled as she caught the undertone of self-recrimination in the other woman's words. 12:06 PM I have a question. When the two of them start talking about the other countries, did you understand who I was talking about? 12:07 PM <%red3> I know who the Mekhanites are. I assumed that the Kourites are a group of people that are in the middle ground between the two religions and the Mekhanites are trying to convert them. And I don't know what Kemet is but I liked the way they were described. 12:07 PM Crete 12:07 PM Kemet is Egypt 12:07 PM Ptah is an early egyptian death god 12:08 PM These are all the ancient names of these places 12:08 PM Zhongguo is the region that would eventually become china 12:08 PM <%red3> Assuming the reader knows what Egypt is smh 12:09 PM wait 12:09 PM wat 12:09 PM <%red3> I'm joking. 12:09 PM — MalyceGraves sideyes 12:10 PM <%red3> But in all seriousness, I don't think I need to know what places each location corresponds to in the real world. They're fleshed out enough here that I can sorta guess what their societies are like. People from Kemet are probably calm, larger, and survive disasters which would destroy most other civilizations. 12:10 PM <%red3> I'm not gonna go down the last but you get the picture. 12:10 PM <%red3> *the list 12:11 PM — MalyceGraves nods 12:11 PM <~barredowl> yeah. that part of the article's pretty nice 12:11 PM I really did want to make these people relatable 12:11 PM I agree that a lot of the sarkic lore makes Ion and the Klavigar into mythic god things 12:11 PM Some of this is inspired by OriCat's work 12:13 PM One thing I like about Mal's works of Sarkicism is that you, Mal, go into a lot of detail that lets readers be curious as to what kind of countries you talk about or historical detail you work into your works, I really like that 12:13 PM <%red3> It's sad that Lovataar didn't receive the same kind of change that her lover did as time moved on. I don't have a good picture of her in her younger years, so I don't have a frame of reference for how much she changed as a person. This left her character feeling a bit flat since I only meet her when she's older and more mature. 12:14 PM uh 12:14 PM .s dracula factory 12:14 PM <@Secretary_Helen> MalyceGraves: SCP-2191: "Dracula Factory" (Rating: +373. Written 5 years ago By: Metaphysician) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2191 12:15 PM This is Lovataar now 12:15 PM I love this tale as an insight into the life of what the great Ion Empire was like. I love that this humanised two of the followers of Ion who, to my mind, was very obscure. Lovataar I love cause she felt pain at the havoc Ion caused and her inner troubles about what they were doing. I really love this and I wanna explore more about Saarn and Lovataar 12:15 PM .... wait what!?!? 12:15 PM <%red3> Oh shit Lovataar learned capitalism. 12:16 PM Yeah. Losing Ion really fucked her up 12:16 PM SHE'S the Dracula Factory/Vampire (sarkic Vampire) maker? 12:16 PM ya 12:16 PM She's the giant worm thing 12:16 PM <%red3> Are there any final opinions on this? 12:17 PM Thank y'all for reading my shit 12:17 PM <%red3> np 12:17 PM <~barredowl> i think i've mostly expended my thoughts on this. i really like this 12:17 PM Nope, I spoke my mind about this piece. I'm giving it/keeping my +1 up there (I forgot if I did give this a +1 or not haha) 12:18 PM <%red3> The majority of this tale was a solid novote for me. It doesn't grasp me with interest, I can't relate to the characters, and the prose itself didn't evoke any emotions. That being said, the ending just manages to eek out a light upvote from me just because of how it humanizes Ion. I really enjoyed that.