# Pastebin IokurWBk


Space between paragraphs in the beginning... space out the bold text one line down.

Footnote 3 is extraneous, I’ll cut it

“C is pointedly ignored.” —> this is not clinical, “pointedly” is the problem. Any use of such adjectives are problematic in terms of clinical tone. You don’t want to impart commentary, just say that the director did not respond

The log where E is introduced seems trying to make us feel sympathetic to them, but I find that jarring as they’re a child murderer... not many things are totally irredeemable, but that seems like one of them...

“Its coloration cannot be determined, but it does not appear shaken.” —> similarly non clinical