# Pastebin BBFu8Qcc 12:06 PM <%red3> Alright, so how about we get into our initial thoughts on this article? 12:06 PM <+cybersqyd> this was less uncomfortable to read which is good but it didn't really replace that with anything fun which is less good 12:07 PM I'd say this one is a bit more stronger since the O5 are present in this and playing a bit more of a role in 2000's universal collapse 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> it sets up what's happening nicely but it feels. unemotional? idk. i look back on reading it and it didn't really do much for me. it was just kinda. solidly fine? i guess? 12:08 PM <%red3> This still suffers from the first chapter's issue with overused tropes and hammy dialogue. I also can't shake the feeling that this just feels like an action movie, especially in the scene where Ten uses the screen to demonstrate why the universe are collapsing into one another. It's something that's used as a way to simply explain something complicated to the audience, so I don't know why it's being used here in place 12:08 PM <%red3> of something more fitting for writing. 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:09 PM I didnt read the first one, but didnt mind this. Didnt really get any emotion out of it as cyber said 12:09 PM Idk if reading the first one would make me dislike it more or less 12:09 PM <+cybersqyd> I think it's likely a necessary evil; but it reads like a big exposition dump to setup the stakes 12:10 PM <%red3> I do actually enjoy the conflict here with the main threat being a dangerous anomalous object that could wipe out the universe. It maintains that chauvinistic, patriarchal, dark atmosphere, but it feels somewhat weak compared to the last tale which centered around using suicide. 12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:10 PM My reasoning for the whole Ten and the screens is because it does fit a bit more into the context of the story. Due to Ten being the only one that can remember 2000 and Thaumiel existing and all that Jazz. I also do like Able's talk about how this mission requires mind, not muscle winning this mission for them 12:10 PM I know quite a bit about the pandora box characters from other canons, so some of his bits feel a bit flat to me. 12:11 PM I view Ten using the screen like Merlin in Kingsmen uses a screen lol 12:11 PM At which point, it doesnt seem weird to me 12:12 PM <%red3> Yeah, this seems to be focused on making a dark action series, rather than a deep character study. So I imagine that the characterization would be a bit flat. 12:12 PM I mean TTP is action not character as well. Was adrian worked on more in the first tale? 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah; the first tale was a lot more personal 12:13 PM <%red3> Slightly? Yeah, slightly. 12:13 PM <+cybersqyd> but also yeah, he's very 'generic action film protagonist' 12:13 PM <%red3> ^ 12:13 PM Hmn 12:13 PM DrMoned: I don't recall either Adrian Andrews or Omega-7 in TTP... do they actually appear in it? 12:14 PM BlueJones Adrian gets fuzed with SCP- uuuuuhhhh... I cant remember the number 12:14 PM <+cybersqyd> it kinda has the feel of this building to a Duke 'till Dawn kinda thing but without going anywhere near as off the rails 12:14 PM DrMoned: I thought that tale or series of tales was set alongside Duke Till Dawn? 12:15 PM BlueJones cant quite remember it fully 12:16 PM BlueJones also, arent they the Alpher Niners in TTP? Not Omega-7. They get revived 12:17 PM Might be wrong 12:17 PM DrMoned: Alpha-9, as far as I can recall, has never been done anywhere outside of resurrection 12:17 PM And I think I am going off track a bit 12:17 PM <%red3> I don't like the scene with Iris. While in the first chapter, her reactions seemed to be genuine from a teenager who was running away from a worldwide organization designed to trap her for the rest of her natural life, here she just seems like a spoiled brat. She cries when she isn't allowed to work with the team, which just makes me really confused about her character. Is she trying to help the Foundation or escape 12:17 PM <%red3> from them? The article doesn't seem to touch on that, but I hope it does by the end of the series. There are only a few interesting ways that I can see this logically going, and picking Adrian as the POV character seems to be one of the more dull ones. 12:17 PM Maybe I am getting confused 12:17 PM Red3 It seems to be suggesting Iris is great friends with the rest of them, without showing that 12:18 PM It kind of just dumps it on you 12:19 PM <%red3> Hmm. I'm starting to pick up on the nicheness of this series -- or more accurately, just this article. Without knowing any of the characters beforehand, a lot of the actions just seem strange or one-dimensional. 12:19 PM BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND: Iris's pluckiness does seem counter-intuitive to waht we seen priviously but we have to remember she was brought up mainly in Omega-7, under Able's training so when she hears orders to charge and save her friends - the ones she has known for her whole life - she can't see anything beyond "What's next sir?" 12:20 PM <+cybersqyd> "we have to remember" feels odd here cos there's nothing previously establishing this within the series 12:21 PM Ack! I do apologise if that sounded like a bad thing to say! 12:21 PM <+cybersqyd> nah it's fine 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> it's just weird. iunno, it feels like this is reliant on like, established canon 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> in a way that means it's very...swing and a miss without the canon? 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> i think that's why i didn't really vibe with this; cos it's assuming i know a tonne about these characters and i don't? 12:22 PM <%red3> Both of those feel true. The ending also feels like it's setting this up to be only a small event where the team infiltrates the base and something happens. With how short everything is, there's no time to explore any of the topics that it brings up. I feel like it might just be using those topics for shock value, but I don't want to judge it before I've finished it. 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:23 PM iirc this was meant to be the start of updating pre-existing canon into the new and modern scp wiki 12:24 PM <%red3> cybersqyd: Yeah. It's like reading fanfiction of some old cartoon that you never watched. You don't know any of the characters, any of their relationships or conflicts, but everything is presented like the reader does know those things. So weird stuff happens and nothing is explored and it just feels very... distant. Not exactly confusing to the point where I actually feel confused, but confusing enough to where I feel 12:24 PM <%red3> bored watching these characters interact. I don't know what's motivating them at all, so they just seem to do things for the sake of doing them or because they look "cool". 12:25 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:25 PM <%red3> Does anybody have something else they want to add before we get into our final thoughts? 12:26 PM Not really 12:26 PM Not really 12:26 PM It was decently written, but nothing new or special 12:27 PM <%red3> This is going to be a tentative downvote from me. While the writing is enjoyable and the villain is interesting, the story beats here are things that I have seen done a million times already, and this doesn't bring anything new to the table. I can enjoy watching Generic Action Movie #732784 if it's just as good as Generic Action Movie #732783, but if it doesn't make me think about something afterwords or impact in some 12:27 PM <%red3> way, I'm not going to enjoy it. 12:29 PM Gonna be a light upvote but could be pushed to a downvote 12:29 PM novote/ 12:29 PM I will novote, it's interesting ish and well written. It is a great improvement over some previously reviewed stuff. But overall, it has it's fair share of problems 12:29 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah, i'm novoting too