# Pastebin 3L2Awjv4 11:11 AM <~barredowl> alright then, shall we start with our first impressions? 11:11 AM <+cybersqyd> i like this one 11:12 AM I found this one confusing in my opinion 11:12 AM <+cybersqyd> Like, I'm not sure if it really works but I dig it 11:12 AM There's definitely more here than something like Periapsis, but it feels less justified in its format screw and there's some fluff in places where the prose is purple just for the sake of being purple. 11:12 AM <@Calibri_Bold> It's a very tentative upvote for me. 11:12 AM sure. so, first impressions for me; as someone who does undergo dissociative episodes, both the main body as well as the final collapsible hit quite hard:; in fact i can sorta feel it in my chest a fair bit. I like it, even if I find the main storyline a bit hard to understand (did eventually get it though) 11:12 AM i do agree with red3 in that the prose feels excessively purple at times, though 11:12 AM <~barredowl> i thought it was a pretty good poem, yeah, but i could see myself like, not getting with it later on due to it not justifying itself as a format screw. 11:12 AM though i do understand why it does what it does 11:13 AM <+cybersqyd> honestly, i'm a sucker for when people put purple prose into a scp 11:13 AM I think that the format screw in this makes it difficult to follow the prose in a way that is disjointed and unpleasant. So, in that, I get the dissociation 11:13 AM but I don't think it's cool enough in its use of the obvious to merit my upvote. 11:13 AM It is low-hanging fruit. 11:13 AM <~barredowl> that's understandable. 11:13 AM That it is, I do get that. 11:14 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah, I can see that 11:14 AM My understanding of this thing is actually at zero, will not deny it. 11:14 AM It reads like really edgy highschool poetry 11:14 AM <@Calibri_Bold> I think I'm gonna novote this, actually. 11:14 AM <@Calibri_Bold> I dunno. 11:14 AM <@Calibri_Bold> MalyceGraves: I do agree there, honestly. 11:14 AM I can see why it sounds like that; it's got that weird... flourish? 11:14 AM It resonates with people because there are lots of us that have problems with dissociative issues 11:14 AM What do you mean by "low-hanging fruit"? SCP-4311 was pretty low-hanging in its depiction of gaslighting, but you said that you liked that. 11:14 AM but it's just... not really very good? 11:15 AM <@Calibri_Bold> The thing with this is that I'm all over the place in terms of how I feel about this. 11:15 AM red3: that was at least well-written 11:15 AM I don't know much about this kind of thing. Did love the way it worked with words but at the same time it was... hard to follow for me 11:16 AM So is it the emotional connection then? I don 11:16 AM I think the reason it worked well for me was the disjointedness 11:16 AM *I don't feel particularly connected to either issue, so I kind of see them both as equally weird and low-hanging. 11:16 AM <~barredowl> i think it just barely works for me here, to be honest. 11:16 AM Sure, the prose was purple at times, but I did quite like how it captured that sort of feeling 11:16 AM <~barredowl> though i'm kinda tilting towards not connecting with it 11:16 AM (I go to dinner) 11:16 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah, I mean. This was something I enjoyed but like, it's not something I can really explain? 11:17 AM <~barredowl> there are points which i think there are like, resonant with me in particular 11:17 AM red3 I agree with that. They are both low-hanging 11:17 AM <~barredowl> but some of it is a little blunt/low-hanging. 11:17 AM <~barredowl> i'm not sure. 11:17 AM i think it worked because it was like; I could nod through it and be like "yeah, I've felt that once in a while" not really based on the actual merits of the article itself, more what it //evoked?// 11:17 AM I think that this is also completely missing the point of the format 11:18 AM The gaslighting one was USING gaslighting as a form of containment. I think that one worked for me because it still followed the theme. This just... doesn't 11:18 AM to me, anyway 11:18 AM like I think the concept of humanity's collective dissociation being contained is a really, really neat concept, but that's not neatly conveyed. instead it kinda runs through a general... feeling? 11:18 AM ^ 11:18 AM which i feel would work better as a tale, where you don't have the same expectations as a scp 11:18 AM <+cybersqyd> ehh 11:18 AM <@Calibri_Bold> Popsioak: That perfectly describes what I was thinking, thank you. 11:19 AM <~barredowl> huh, i didn't really get that vibe from it, to be honest, but i quite like that interpretation. 11:19 AM which leaves me a bit conflicted; i really like how relatable this is, but if that's all that's positive about it, i can't say if that merits a positive outlook from me 11:19 AM <+cybersqyd> I don't think this'd easily work as a tale without a large rewrite 11:19 AM Seeing as I have no emotional connection to this, I can only really see it as an exploration of one core theme: collapsing into a single, safe point. The human id isn't designed to understand the intricacies of human civilization, so seeing people and cars and skyscrapers scares it. It retreats to the simple life in containment where the only thing it has to worry about is food and drink. 11:19 AM cybersqyd: oh yeah, I'm not saying that it could go up as is as a tale 11:19 AM just the sort of... feeling being evoked would work much better as one 11:19 AM <@Calibri_Bold> It claims to be a really cool concept, but it doesn't really convey "disassociation" that much, at least not more than just general emotion. 11:19 AM <+cybersqyd> mm maybe? i think in many ways, the narrative here feels best told as a tale? 11:20 AM agreed 11:20 AM <+cybersqyd> i said as a tale and i really meant to say scp oops 11:20 AM And that works fine as a kind of bittersweet explanation, but the switch at the end feels oddly misplaced. It changes the perspective from the anomaly wishing to go away from society and be alone to them wishing to find a connection. They don't want to be forgotten. They don't want to disappear. And that switch in character confuses me. Like, there's no explanation for it besides the anomaly not wanting to have their 11:20 AM movements controlled anymore. 11:20 AM <+cybersqyd> i think it works best as a scp just because it's like...fundamentally about containment 11:21 AM oop okay then haha. this feels like... an experience, sort of. Not a SCP, but sort of something you //watch?// 11:21 AM this feels like it's treading a limbo of scp-hood and tale-hood for me, because it's not really either 11:21 AM <~barredowl> i can see that 11:21 AM it's just a distilled feeling and emotion 11:21 AM supremely simplistic in how it goes about that 11:22 AM <+cybersqyd> i think that's kinda what i like about it? 11:22 AM yeah, that is what i kinda like about it too 11:22 AM <~barredowl> i sorta like that part about it too. 11:23 AM <~barredowl> but at the end, i'm kinda confused which way i lean for this skip. 11:23 AM cybersqyd: I do think that this would be better as a tale. Both meta-wise (tales are often seen as "lesser" than SCP articles and are thus given less attention) and narrative-wise (this has very little to do with the anomaly itself and the Foundation), it would enhance the narrative and also speak more to the audience that it wants to speak to: those that suffer from dissociative episodes. 11:23 AM I've always enjoyed this sort of stream-of-consciousness kinda thing in a skip, and for one where the whole thing's consisted of it, especially with a feeling I can understand, I think this does work 11:23 AM but I can see where conflict lies with a lot of people 11:24 AM → BoogeyMobile23 joined (whale.w@tching.boat.tour) 11:24 AM i personally think this piece is held back by that sort of stream of consciousness narrative too; either you get what it's saying, find it relatable, or you don't, at which point you kinda evaluate on narrative-level merits 11:24 AM ^ 11:24 AM <+cybersqyd> I'm, not necessarily sure that's a flaw? Like, I think it's fine for a scp to only be relatable for some folk? 11:24 AM and then the problem is, the purpley prose that is stunningly accurate in discussing dissociation starts sounding like edgy high school poetry 11:24 AM This is a case where the article isn't trying to relate that experience to people who haven't experienced it, but more of a kind of transcript of those emotions. 11:25 AM Yeah, that alone isn't a problem, no doubt; the problem is what ends up happening cause of it, imo sqyd 11:25 AM because this transcript, consciousness-style thing starts sounding //really// edgy //really// quick 11:26 AM ^ 11:26 AM I wrote stuff like this when I was a low-teen 11:26 AM <~barredowl> i think i'm just going to leave this as a light downvote. there are parts that i like, but i generally agree with the above criticisms. 11:26 AM an I really wish I could dissociate from that 11:26 AM <~barredowl> namely, some parts come across as a little edgy? 11:27 AM <~barredowl> idk 11:27 AM I agree with a lot of Pop is saying. Although this does have more substance to it than just "If you're in the know, you're in the know", that substance is confusing and contradictory. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it messes with the narrative a little bit. 11:27 AM <@Calibri_Bold> Yeah, I have to agree with what Malyce and Popsioak said. 11:27 AM <@Calibri_Bold> It's an interesting concept, but it ends up lending itself to a very edgy tone, and doesn't actually play into that concept very well. 11:28 AM I am also gonna downvote this, mainly cause I barely understood a majority of this. Did love the poem but honestly, I'm having a major hard time working out what to say 11:28 AM yeah, what red3 said. strike what i said about it being like "if you're in the know," it's just if you're //not//, it ends up being edgy and contradictory 11:29 AM <+cybersqyd> anyone got anything else to say? 11:29 AM <~barredowl> but yeah, that's my thoughts. 11:30 AM I think I'm going to change my vote to a novote, since the edgy stuff felt more akin to Billie Eilish than "My Immortal". I'm also a fairly edgy person myself, so that might be why. Looking at this as a pure stream-of-consciousness, the sudden shift in theme works better than others I've seen. 11:30 AM <~barredowl> i'm just going to give it a light downvote, honestly. i've thoroughly explained my positions here. 11:30 AM <@Calibri_Bold> Same. 11:32 AM I'm back and don't know, so it's a novote.