# Pastebin 1V4swq8U
11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> this is the most frustrating of them, I think
11:52 AM <~barredowl> so, first impressions?
11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> there's parts of this that are really excellent
11:52 AM <BlueJones> And may I say that I finally feel more satisfied after reading this. It doesn't feel like a short one off, it felt connected
11:52 AM <~barredowl> what i will say is, i really like the style of prose evoked here.
11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> but the whole feels...less than stellar
11:52 AM <~barredowl> but at the same time it didn't really have much substantial
11:52 AM <~barredowl> it did keep me somewhat engage, what with how fresh and textured the prose felt
11:52 AM <~barredowl> *engaged
11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah
11:52 AM <~barredowl> but other than that, it fell flat for me.
11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> the start was really nice
11:53 AM <SharpEmbrace> the prose is comfortable but i don't know what the point of it is
11:53 AM <red3> The purple prose at the beginning felt a bit pretentious, and there are cliched elements, but overall it was an improvement over the last tale.
11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> i think it feeling pretentious is somewhat intended though
11:53 AM <~barredowl> yeah, this is from the empress's perspective after all
11:53 AM <~barredowl> so
11:53 AM <~barredowl> yeah
11:53 AM <~barredowl> make of that what you will
11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> like, it's conveying the sense of like, Lucrezen being someone who is important, or at least thinks she is
11:54 AM <SharpEmbrace> wait what
11:54 AM <+cybersqyd> I don't think Lucrezen is the empress?
11:54 AM <SharpEmbrace> Highest isn't the Empress
11:54 AM <BlueJones> Lucrezen isn't the empress, just one who earned the title "The Highest"
11:54 AM <red3> Lucrezen is a few steps below the Empress.
11:54 AM <~barredowl> oh wait
11:54 AM <~barredowl> oh yeah
11:54 AM <red3> > Bow to the Empress, and the Empress alone. I am only her tool.
11:54 AM <SharpEmbrace> she's still pretentious af
11:54 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah
11:54 AM <SharpEmbrace> lol
11:55 AM <~barredowl> yep
11:55 AM <SharpEmbrace> i don't think this gave me a very clear identity for Lucrezen though
11:55 AM <~barredowl> i don't know if it's just me, but i'm really not good at differentiating characters' names very well, especially with how stylized they are here
11:55 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah i get that
11:55 AM <~barredowl> SharpEmbrace: yeah, unlike the last tale, i feel the prose worked in service of characterizing lucrezen
11:56 AM <red3> I felt like the conflict was a little subdued since it was basically a guy making one argument, which was then deflected, then... nothing. There's some good banter between them, but there's nothing else to sustain it. It really felt like a lot more emotion could've been conveyed if the argument was more drawn out and emotional.
11:56 AM <SharpEmbrace> it's very clearly from her perspectiv
11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> red3: yeah I agree
11:56 AM <SharpEmbrace> but it doesn't work that hard to make it an intriguing perspective imo
11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> this is why i think i'm a little disappointed in it
11:56 AM <~barredowl> red3: yeah.
11:56 AM <SharpEmbrace> there's definitely not a lot in the way of conflict or stakes
11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> it feels...like everything just wraps up immediately
11:57 AM <~barredowl> this is sorta leaning into straight-up slice-of-life, but doesn't really delve into it as much as i would to be satisfied with its quirks
11:57 AM <SharpEmbrace> just ends up being kinda boring
11:57 AM <red3> SharpEmbrace: Yeah, I got that sense of characterization from Aloi's (Aioi? Aloi?) first tale with her being a nervous recruit, but it isn't really seen anywhere else.
11:58 AM <~barredowl> yep, there's no real conflict in here, which is fine if they actually went into the slice-of-life without being repetitive and bland.
11:58 AM <~barredowl> which, to clarify, this piece definitely broke from in terms of the blandness.
11:58 AM <SharpEmbrace> also
11:58 AM <SharpEmbrace> > This was another grand adventure. She rather liked that.
11:58 AM <~barredowl> or at least somewhat.
11:58 AM <SharpEmbrace> this line in the original was the one that attracted me to her character
11:58 AM <SharpEmbrace> and we don't really get to see that shown here
11:59 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:00 PM <SharpEmbrace> gives me more bureaucrat vibes than adventurous
12:00 PM <BlueJones> I would have liked more to it than the one arguement, perhaps the Highest's daily routines after this and her exercises for her mentality (Was expecting psionics were gonna be playing into this) but it feels more connected to the universe rather than us peering into one tale and then jumping to another tale which wasn't really connected to the privious one
12:01 PM <~barredowl> yeah.
12:01 PM <~barredowl> it's strange cause, i really see potential for this series turning into something new
12:01 PM <SharpEmbrace> also, there's no real takeaway from this tale
12:02 PM <~barredowl> and especially with the two new tale writers coming up (one of which is especially well-versed in slice-of-life, zyn), i'm kinda curious for how this might turn out.
12:02 PM <SharpEmbrace> i don't feel like i've gained anything from reading it
12:02 PM <~barredowl> SharpEmbrace: yeah, i didn't really get any resolving idea or theme from this.
12:02 PM <SharpEmbrace> very little emotional connection to what happens
12:02 PM <~barredowl> yeah :/
12:02 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:03 PM <~barredowl> tale 2 definitely exemplified the emotional connection which i wish this series involved for me
12:03 PM <+cybersqyd> which I think ties into the lack of conflict: there's never a chance for a feeling of there being stakes to this disagreement to blossom before it's over
12:03 PM <~barredowl> like, we get real estate into these strange characters' minds
12:03 PM <~barredowl> i wish we had more of that
12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:04 PM <~barredowl> there's a lot of potential here set up from the first couple tales
12:04 PM <~barredowl> but it just fizzled out for me at this point.
12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> i would've loved a sense of her like, manipulating the foundation here
12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> like, deliberately playing dumb so they go easy or something
12:05 PM <red3> Yeah, there isn't a sense that these are truly alien characters. They feel more like socially anxious researchers with some weird names rather than people from a radically different civilization and level of anomalous integration.
12:05 PM <SharpEmbrace> she just kinda brute force
12:05 PM <SharpEmbrace> forced it
12:05 PM <SharpEmbrace> alternatively
12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> red3, yeah I agree
12:05 PM <SharpEmbrace> it would be interesting for them to reject her outright
12:05 PM <SharpEmbrace> and see how she deals with that
12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> there's occasionally nods to the alienness but there's not really any like...depth to it?
12:05 PM <red3> "Your people caused the death of one my agents. We want them to be sent back." "No." "Okay."
12:06 PM <+cybersqyd> yep
12:06 PM <~barredowl> yeah :/
12:06 PM <SharpEmbrace> i agree that there's very little gap between the two groups
12:06 PM <SharpEmbrace> their behaviour isn't fundamentally different
12:07 PM <~barredowl> unfortunately, yeah
12:07 PM <red3> I like Sharp's idea here. Having them force the characters to deal with the consequences of their actions by potentially booting them out of the story could really bring some interesting dynamics. They don't even have to leave if the author wants to keep them in, just have the Empress manipulate some people or create a situation in which those characters have to be there. It could also make the characters more memorable 
12:07 PM <red3> and give them a concrete goal besides just "learn stuff and don't break shit".
12:07 PM <~barredowl> also, this is kinda off-topic, but my mental image of these people are a little all over the place.
12:07 PM <SharpEmbrace> yes! they need objectives and challenges
12:07 PM <SharpEmbrace> this is a fish-out-of-water story
12:08 PM <SharpEmbrace> we need to see them adapting to the monumental change in their environment
12:08 PM <~barredowl> like, i was kinda thinking these were insectoids, but looking back they seem to be more hominid in nature?
12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> gonna be honest, i have no idea what they look like
12:09 PM <SharpEmbrace> i am equally baffled
12:09 PM <BlueJones> barredowl: I keep imagining them as the ethereals from XCOM: Enemy Unknown
12:09 PM <SharpEmbrace> they're kinda human but also not i guess
12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i think the original design was left up from the 1483 articles
12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah
12:09 PM <~barredowl> this really feels like a case of "alien creature who still acts like a human"
12:09 PM <~barredowl> which, can still be interesting
12:09 PM <~barredowl> but it's not really giving me a good mental image.
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> > The sapient inhabitants of SCP-1483 are designated as SCP-1483-1, Homo antarcticus.
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> that to me implies they're basically human
12:10 PM <~barredowl> yeah
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> not like...exactly human but not far off
12:10 PM <~barredowl> though i do like the idea of huge mantis-type creatures
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:10 PM <~barredowl> even though that would be pretty impractical
12:10 PM <~barredowl> in the, y'know, south pole
12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah
12:11 PM <~barredowl> i actually kinda want to draw that
12:11 PM <~barredowl> anyway
12:11 PM <~barredowl> getting kinda off-topic
12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> oops
12:11 PM <~barredowl> so should we wrap up with some final conclusions or do you think this is an ok place to end the conversation?
12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> i don't have more to add
12:11 PM <~barredowl> hmm, alright.
12:11 PM <~barredowl> me neither, unfortunately
12:11 PM <SharpEmbrace> i'm generally pretty disappointed with this canon so far
12:11 PM <~barredowl> i guess there wasn't a lot to talk about here.
12:11 PM <BlueJones> Same, I have nothing more to add
12:12 PM <red3> This has the bare bones of some more cliched story beats, so it bores me from the get go and doesn't have the sheer talent or charm to pull it off.
12:12 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i was kinda wishing this would be an underrated gem of some kind
12:12 PM <~barredowl> but it's just not living up to my expectations
12:12 PM <~barredowl> kinda like chicago spirit