# Pastebin 155xiDdi 12:08 PM <~barredowl> alright, then. so, shall we get into our first impressions? 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> hm 12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> i didn't enjoy this 12:09 PM <~barredowl> personally, i can't say i really enjoyed this. the interviews, in particular, felt cheesy. 12:09 PM <+cybersqyd> i'm not exactly sure why but i think it's that there's not really a sense of...coherency to the interviews? 12:09 PM This is... quite an odd horror skip imo. Like I don't view this in a horror aspect but more of an odd scp 12:09 PM Strangely, I've enjoyed it more than 2774. 12:09 PM <~barredowl> moreover, i'm... sorta unsure if the horror even lands for me 12:09 PM <%red3> This tries really, really hard to get an emotional gut punch to the audience, to the point where people just start doing things for no particular reason. 12:10 PM I felt it was more... impactful to me? I dunno exactly why, but with at least the last interview, I really felt sorry for the doctor. 12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> it feels, off to me that half the interviews here were unsanctioned or w/e 12:11 PM <~barredowl> i can see that. 12:11 PM It did raise questions, at least to me, about the range of abilities this entity can do. Like in the second interview, the agent was detained following an investigation due to hearing the child's voice and with her going "How could you?" 12:11 PM <%red3> The core concept interests me since it tries to go for both an emotional punch while also remaining horrifying. The idea of you being used to fulfill someone's regrets while not being able to do anything to stop it is pretty horrifying, but it goes really far into just being sad about it. 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> the emotional conflict inherent to the scp is, on paper, dope 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> but the execution here feels very flat 12:12 PM <%red3> ^^^ 12:12 PM <%red3> My thoughts exactly. 12:12 PM <~barredowl> i could definitely see this being an interesting way to express a particular emotion, and if the interview wasn't trying to sell itself so hard, i might have been able to get down w/ it. 12:12 PM <+cybersqyd> the scp never feels like she really grows or changes or anything 12:13 PM Purplayoss → Purplayoss|Studying 12:14 PM <%red3> Yeah, if the anomaly grew hateful or depressed because of their ability, then it would work a lot better. But all of the interviews just feel like isolated incidents which all try to get the reader in their feelings in different ways. I wished it had a better overall narrative rather than just these short little stories. 12:14 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:14 PM <~barredowl> this feels, very early series 3 12:14 PM mhm 12:14 PM <+cybersqyd> honestly i'd have said it felt very series 1 12:15 PM <~barredowl> yeah 12:15 PM <%red3> There's also details here which feel weirdly unnecessary. Like mentioning the fact that the girl got hit by a stranger on the street and then returning to that later by stating that a woman hit the anomaly with her purse. But then it doesn't really go anywhere. The best explanation I could go with is that the girl died when she get hit, but then came back to life being able to speak with the voices of the dead. 12:16 PM <%red3> That is a theory, though, which isn't based on which evidence besides explaining details which don't seem to serve any purpose. 12:16 PM <%red3> *based on any 12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> that feels...iffy? 12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> specifically, i don't think you could kill someone with a purse but? 12:16 PM <+cybersqyd> or well, you could but i'd imagine you'd see like, a fracture on the back of their head say 12:16 PM <%red3> Yeah, that's true. But the point still stands that those details don't really have a purpose in the story, so I don't know why they were included. 12:17 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:18 PM This is confusing me though. Like, on red's theory, does that mean that the girl invoulentarly give up her body in the presence of a parent that suffered their child's death? Furthermore, can the girl see through the child's eyes/be able to communicate with the spirit enough to put 2 + 2 together? 12:19 PM <%red3> I came up with my theory on the spot while I was reading it because I couldn't figure out why those details were included. Most likely, they have no purpose at all and should be cut. 12:19 PM <~barredowl> hmm. 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> the line about it only affecting prepubescent children that's struckthrough and replaced by 'under the age of 18' is weird here too 12:19 PM <~barredowl> overall, i don't know. the horror doesn't work for me, the dialogue is... not good, and i just didn't like this piece that much, honestly. 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> it's like, the kinda thing you'd expect to have come up again later 12:19 PM <+cybersqyd> and it doesn't? 12:20 PM <%red3> Yeah, it seems like something that's just there for worldbuilding. And while worldbuilding is good, in a story this short it's really not necessary. 12:20 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:20 PM <+cybersqyd> it reads like a story hook that's never tugged 12:21 PM Mhm, the details aren't exactly there and its quite an annoyance. Like, if you include a thread like these ones do, at least follow it to a logical conclusion instead of putting it in for shock value/emotional punch to the face 12:22 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah 12:23 PM <%red3> I don't have much else to say on this. It's a good concept with very poor execution. 12:24 PM <+cybersqyd> ^ 12:24 PM <~barredowl> agreed. anyone else have something to say before we wrap this up? 12:24 PM Same here but I'm gonna light downdoot this on poor execution. But if this were to be revised with improvements, I'll gladly change it to the updoot 12:25 PM It will probably be a novote for now, strong novote to a light upvote. 12:25 PM <%red3> This is a medium downvote. There are elements here that are well-written, but it has a bad structure overall. 12:25 PM I will probably reread it to see if my opinion has changed or not. But for this time, I have a pretty positive feeling towards this article.