{"body":"12:27 PM <%red3> It's alright. So what are our initial thoughts on this article?\r\n12:28 PM I thought this was very action based. Although some parts are a bit confusing for me much like the last one\r\n12:29 PM <%red3> The writing in this tale was definitely a lot cleaner than the last one, although a worry I had earlier in this series has come up: the lack of characterization. A lot of this is dialogue, but I don't know enough about the characters to really get invested into the characters. Sure, they have an argument, but I don't pick a side or care about who wins because I don't know enough about each character //to// care.\r\n12:29 PM <+cybersqyd> i think slightly confusing prose is nats style at this point\r\n12:29 PM <+cybersqyd> but yeah it feels...poorly executed here\r\n12:29 PM <+cybersqyd> i kinda like it because i like that kind of thing but it feels too opaque\r\n12:31 PM <%red3> I did enjoy making the Operator and the Miner more relatable characters, but it feels a bit undeserved. There's not enough time to build up some form of good will between the two sides and have them fight with one another. I'm also not sure about who the villain is at this point. I think it's Rakmou-leusan, but I haven't really seen them in any of these articles.\r\n12:31 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:32 PM <+cybersqyd> i think this tale series really suffers from a lack of planning\r\n12:32 PM I just finished lol. But I think a lot of this comes from insufficient worldbuilding and plans\r\n12:32 PM <+cybersqyd> it feels very much like Nat started writing before figuring out where xe wanted to go and what xe wanted to do\r\n12:32 PM <%red3> So it just ended up going in different directions?\r\n12:32 PM A lot of it feels added on as xe went along\r\n12:32 PM Yeah\r\n12:33 PM I am not sure different directions. More the directions chosen didnt have a solid enough foundation\r\n12:33 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:34 PM <+cybersqyd> it feels like it's like, a technically solid castle built upon sand\r\n12:34 PM Thats a great way of putting it lol\r\n12:34 PM <%red3> Yeah, I see that too. In the beginning, there were hints that this was going to be a more contained story between just the team, command, and maybe the antagonist. But now it feels the story took a left turn into just being an action/sci-fi movie about fighting against a god-like entity with no-buildup.\r\n12:34 PM <%red3> I don't know why I put a dash at the end there but okay.\r\n12:34 PM <+cybersqyd> because the starting tales didn't setup the characters and conflict well enough, the actual meat of the tales, there's...no real impact/\r\n12:35 PM <+cybersqyd> it's just, actions happening to characters we know nothing about, for stakes we don't really get\r\n12:35 PM <%red3> That's true.\r\n12:36 PM <+cybersqyd> But it also feels like the gap between each tale is too big?\r\n12:36 PM <+cybersqyd> like, sometimes each tale being really standalone works but here it just feels...too much like snippets of a larger whole?\r\n12:36 PM <+cybersqyd> as a series, it's kinda like being given the 3rd, 5th and 9th chapters of a book and told to have fun\r\n12:37 PM <%red3> I can only really see that with the jump between The First Sailors and Interlopers, since the first has the team barely able to work as a team and the second has them actually going to the planet and having everything work out.\r\n12:39 PM <%red3> The jumps between the first and second tale and from Interlopers to Let the Winds Send You Onwards felt a bit more natural, but I can see where you're coming from. Especially in regards to the stakes, it feels like everything is moving way too quickly and not enough is being set up.\r\n12:40 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:40 PM <+cybersqyd> i think part of the problem might be that this is unfinished?\r\n12:40 PM <%red3> Yeah, I was about to touch on that.\r\n12:40 PM <+cybersqyd> it feels like it might be angling somewhat towards like, a thing where gradually you piece together what's happened and there's clearly meant to be more but isn't but...idk\r\n12:41 PM <+cybersqyd> we can't really judge a work based on what isn't there\r\n12:41 PM <%red3> This is an incomplete series, and in Nat's comment they state that this is meant to bridge the two settings. But I still think that the first part of this could've been developed better. If the first part was focused on the internal dynamic of the team, then it switched to a more action-oriented story, then it could've been a lot smoother because there would've been a defined point of change. But with the way that those \r\n12:41 PM <%red3> two narratives are interwoven, it just makes everything feel confusing and throws off the tone with every other sentence.\r\n12:42 PM ⇐ Dyslexion quit (uid387560@synIRC-B275D9D8.brockwell.irccloud.com) Quit: Connection closed for inactivity\r\n12:42 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:44 PM <%red3> Are there any other aspects of this series that we'd like to talk about or should we move onto our closing thoughts?\r\n12:45 PM Im unsure about this seires as a whole\r\n12:46 PM <+cybersqyd> i want to like this series a lot more than i actually dop\r\n12:46 PM ⇐ BoogeyMobile23 quit (whale.w@tching.boat.tour) Quit: Connection closed for inactivity\r\n12:46 PM <%red3> This series didn't exactly vibe with me in the beginning, and it never really picked up enough to gain my interest.\r\n","name":"Let the Winds Send You Onwards...","extension":"txt","url":"https://www.irccloud.com/pastebin/w7pH3YRH/Let+the+Winds+Send+You+Onwards...","modified":1594842515,"id":"w7pH3YRH","size":5386,"lines":42,"own_paste":false,"theme":"","date":1594842515}