{"body":"8:56 PM <jnerula> Preston: Call my secretary, I fucked up a copy-paste three times\n8:56 PM <jnerula> Tell her to hold my calls until I'm out of the country and presumed dead\n8:56 PM <Preston> Yes Mr. Pfiffer.\n8:57 PM <Preston> Mr. Pfiffer it appears that your secretary had hung herself after that one-night stand with you during the Christmas party, would you like to put in a human resources ticket?\n8:58 PM <jnerula> Hmmm, I don't trust those fucks in HR; could you file a requisition request for a coffin from Logistics?\n8:58 PM <jnerula> Say I'm expensing a relatives death; Rodney will understand\n8:59 PM <Preston> Yes Mr. Pfiffer, hold please.\n8:59 PM <Preston> My. Pfiffer, Logistics Manager dx is on the line, apparently Rodney is out sick this month, came down with a bad case of Ebola.\n8:59 PM <dx> same\n9:00 PM <jnerula> dx do you work from Home with Ebola because I will not have that shit in my branch\n9:00 PM <dx> jnerula: i'm ebola irl, ama\n9:00 PM <jnerula> Preston: wait who are you, aren't you being my secretary right now\n9:00 PM <jnerula> Are you my meta-secretary?\n9:00 PM <jnerula> Am I just talking to my desk\n9:00 PM <Preston> I'm your... Secretaries Resource Advisor...\n9:01 PM <jnerula> Preston: That sounds suspicious, whats your Employee Identification Number?\n9:01 PM <Preston> #52979\n9:01 PM <jnerula> Who let you in here?\n9:01 PM <jnerula> This is absurd, where is my real secretary?\n9:01 PM <jnerula> WHAT IS THIS\n9:02 PM <jnerula> dx: Requisition the mafia, I think someone is trying to have my killed and I need answers\n9:02 PM <jnerula> don't come in though. And we don't pay sick time\n9:02 PM <jnerula> Pfiffer Logistics™\n9:02 PM <Preston> Mr. Pfiffer, the Italian receptionist who has a strange obsession with a little girls show let me in. We have no need to escalate this.\n9:02 PM <jnerula> Preston: You frosty wood-pecker, what do you want? I'll call the Columbian cartels in here to settle this\n9:03 PM <dx> \"the Italian receptionist who has a strange obsession with little girls\"\n9:03 PM <jnerula> That guy sounds suspicious too\n9:03 PM <Preston> Mr. Pfiffer the Columbian cartel is out for lunch, but they're open for a 9 o'clock.\n9:03 PM <jnerula> You're all far too suspicious so I'm just going to leave\n9:03 PM <dx> jnerula: i want to have your babies","name":"","extension":"","url":"https://www.irccloud.com/pastebin/Qi6ukLow","modified":1408507570,"id":"Qi6ukLow","size":2300,"lines":30,"own_paste":false,"theme":"","date":1408507570}