{"body":"11:26 AM I think that's most of everyone. How about we begin with our opening thoughts?\r\n11:27 AM First impression (I never read this tale before now) I thought this is a very good starter of the seires that is to come :D\r\n11:29 AM The tale seamlessly transitions the genre from a more light-hearted take at the beginning to something more akin to the Chicago Spirit style near the middle and climax. Although the reveal of one of the members actually being the boogeyman has been done to death, the fact that it comes out of nowhere actually helps, since I had no idea that that thing was coming in a scene like this. I presumed it to just be a simple \r\n11:29 AM introduction where the various exploits of the character would be talked about.\r\n11:29 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah i dug that twist\r\n11:29 AM <+cybersqyd> the,,,genre change was perhaps a touch jarring but i liked it\r\n11:30 AM Where was it jarring specifically? The beginning part or the part where they actually start talking about Night?\r\n11:30 AM <+cybersqyd> Like, the transition from the kinda, light hearted beginning to the darker end\r\n11:31 AM <+cybersqyd> also the like, relatively light hearted ending piece too\r\n11:31 AM <+cybersqyd> iunno i don't think it was too bad or anything even if it could've been a touch smoother\r\n11:32 AM Well, the ending does put a nice bow to everything. It brings the story back to square one, for lack of that one literary term that's evading me right now, but I can see that. Having the main character murder four people and then immediately give candy to children does seem fairly odd.\r\n11:32 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:33 AM Most of the problems that I have with this are parts of the writing itself that feel odd. The ending line in the third and fourth paragraphs, the fact that I couldn't tell who was speaking sometimes, the way that most of the characters blend in with each other.\r\n11:34 AM I do like the choice of bolding Night/a character's speech. It does speak volumes about the character like they have power. The ending does bring a nice and satisfying conclusion to this tale. The characters could have had a bit more of different voice like one guy be more \"Na, see here mister\" or something like that\r\n11:34 AM Although I will say on that last point that this did it a lot better than other series like Antarctic Exchange since the characters were very simple and one-dimensional, rather than having to remember eight complex characters at once.\r\n11:34 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah Me Night having a distinctive font is cool\r\n11:34 AM <+cybersqyd> ..Mr even\r\n11:35 AM Enemy of Mr. Odd.\r\n11:35 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:35 AM <+cybersqyd> but yeah, I can agree about the kids feeling kinda interchangeable\r\n11:36 AM Lol. But yeah, red is right that unlike AE canon, it is easier to remember them :P\r\n11:37 AM <+cybersqyd> i...kinda find myself wishing this did more with the concept?\r\n11:37 AM But I feel like the point of this is to be an introduction to Mr. Night, but it's very difficult to write an article that's pure exposition while also having it be interesting. Something like \"To Be or Noir To Be\" (something like that) accomplished something similar since it was very short and had a lot of voice, but something like this feels very... generic. However, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I \r\n11:37 AM didn't feel a sense of terror when Mr. Night finally appeared, but he's not exactly written in that way. It's meant to be a fun, kind of light introduction to a series that will most likely keep with that theme.\r\n11:37 AM cybersqyd: How so?\r\n11:37 AM <+cybersqyd> It felt...kinda flat and perhaps a little too introductory without actually setting up much overarching story?\r\n11:38 AM <+cybersqyd> And yeah, perhaps a touch too expository about how exactly everything works\r\n11:39 AM I see. Most of these tales, at least from what I can see, are meant to be very independent of one another. I guess that's the weakness of that style of storytelling: it's very difficult to set up an inciting incident which flows into each story. Although, this might just be because this article does very little other than being an introduction.\r\n11:39 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:39 AM just gonna say this feels really meh. Mr Night comes and he's cool and edgy but that's kind of it\r\n11:40 AM I'm guessing its hard to set up a character like Night without making him sound cool and edgy\r\n11:41 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:42 AM I can understand that. This more appeals to my specific taste of cutesy, fantastical, grounded stories where there's more entertainment than there is tension. There's more evocation of positive emotions than there are of negative emotions, even during scenes that would expect that to be the opposite.\r\n11:42 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:42 AM → Greyve joined (uid436902@synIRC-AE113E32.stonehaven.irccloud.com)\r\n11:43 AM <+cybersqyd> Iunno, I'm leaning towards a weak novote just because it feels...like it's missing something to really kick it over the line\r\n11:43 AM <+cybersqyd> but I don't hate it or anything\r\n11:44 AM Quality-wise, this is a solid novote for me, but I like it so much that it's bringing me to an upvote. I feel like this is one of the worse implementations of the \"have each chapter be an independent\" model of storytelling on the wiki, since it falls into the trap of simply being one elements of the story with nothing else. There still has to be a hook for the reader to continue reading on beyond it.\r\n11:44 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:44 AM I get that. I for one don't think it is lacking that much and it is a much more entertaining read than Antarctic Exchange\r\n11:44 AM heya ppls!\r\n11:45 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah it's definitely better than AE\r\n11:45 AM <+cybersqyd> heya Greyve \r\n11:45 AM For me its an upvote cause this tale is certainly in my flavours of reading\r\n11:45 AM Greyve: We're giving out final thoughts on the first tale of the series, so you're welcome to jump in if you've read it already or you could just wait until we discuss the next article.\r\n11:46 AM oh okee\r\n11:46 AM I'm getting a lot of parallels between this and something like SCP-4768 with how both of those articles only really serve as introductions to the main character and both use various tall tales in order to get their message across. Although, they are both radically different genres.\r\n11:46 AM SCP-4768\r\n11:46 AM <@Secretary_Helen> red3: SCP-4768: The Tall Tales of Ulysses B. Donkman (Rating: +98. Written 117 days ago By: DrAkimoto) - http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4768\r\n11:47 AM i don't find the atmosphere or dialogue particularly endearing in this one, so i'm gonna make this a downvote\r\n11:47 AM red3: Oh damn I never caught onto that, I guess that makes more sense when you put it like that\r\n11:48 AM Although, I do find it strange that I didn't like 4768 one bit, while I do find a lot of charm in this. They're both very similar in the structure, and the parts that are different (namely, the killings) don't do much to me emotionally. Hmm...\r\n11:48 AM <+cybersqyd> I think perhaps it's like, the writing style?\r\n11:49 AM The way that the exposition comes through different characters bantering to each other, rather than through an interview?\r\n11:49 AM I mean Aki didn't have much in terms of freedom when it comes to the SCP format whereas this had more freedom to do what this one wanted to do\r\n11:50 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah maybe\r\n11:51 AM Perhaps. Does anybody else have another thought that they wanted to talk about?\r\n11:51 AM I can't even write in English today.\r\n11:51 AM I got nothing. Its a good upvote from me due its style and story\r\n11:52 AM This really hinges on how much you enjoy the characters and discussion, but that fell too flat for me to enjoy it.\r\n","name":"Spirit Stories","extension":"txt","url":"https://www.irccloud.com/pastebin/Ed8R7vi5/Spirit+Stories","modified":1590864883,"id":"Ed8R7vi5","size":8050,"lines":60,"own_paste":false,"theme":"","date":1590864883}