{"body":"11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> this is the most frustrating of them, I think\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> so, first impressions?\r\n11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> there's parts of this that are really excellent\r\n11:52 AM And may I say that I finally feel more satisfied after reading this. It doesn't feel like a short one off, it felt connected\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> what i will say is, i really like the style of prose evoked here.\r\n11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> but the whole feels...less than stellar\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> but at the same time it didn't really have much substantial\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> it did keep me somewhat engage, what with how fresh and textured the prose felt\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> *engaged\r\n11:52 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:52 AM <~barredowl> but other than that, it fell flat for me.\r\n11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> the start was really nice\r\n11:53 AM the prose is comfortable but i don't know what the point of it is\r\n11:53 AM The purple prose at the beginning felt a bit pretentious, and there are cliched elements, but overall it was an improvement over the last tale.\r\n11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> i think it feeling pretentious is somewhat intended though\r\n11:53 AM <~barredowl> yeah, this is from the empress's perspective after all\r\n11:53 AM <~barredowl> so\r\n11:53 AM <~barredowl> yeah\r\n11:53 AM <~barredowl> make of that what you will\r\n11:53 AM <+cybersqyd> like, it's conveying the sense of like, Lucrezen being someone who is important, or at least thinks she is\r\n11:54 AM wait what\r\n11:54 AM <+cybersqyd> I don't think Lucrezen is the empress?\r\n11:54 AM Highest isn't the Empress\r\n11:54 AM Lucrezen isn't the empress, just one who earned the title \"The Highest\"\r\n11:54 AM Lucrezen is a few steps below the Empress.\r\n11:54 AM <~barredowl> oh wait\r\n11:54 AM <~barredowl> oh yeah\r\n11:54 AM > Bow to the Empress, and the Empress alone. I am only her tool.\r\n11:54 AM she's still pretentious af\r\n11:54 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n11:54 AM lol\r\n11:55 AM <~barredowl> yep\r\n11:55 AM i don't think this gave me a very clear identity for Lucrezen though\r\n11:55 AM <~barredowl> i don't know if it's just me, but i'm really not good at differentiating characters' names very well, especially with how stylized they are here\r\n11:55 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah i get that\r\n11:55 AM <~barredowl> SharpEmbrace: yeah, unlike the last tale, i feel the prose worked in service of characterizing lucrezen\r\n11:56 AM I felt like the conflict was a little subdued since it was basically a guy making one argument, which was then deflected, then... nothing. There's some good banter between them, but there's nothing else to sustain it. It really felt like a lot more emotion could've been conveyed if the argument was more drawn out and emotional.\r\n11:56 AM it's very clearly from her perspectiv\r\n11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> red3: yeah I agree\r\n11:56 AM but it doesn't work that hard to make it an intriguing perspective imo\r\n11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> this is why i think i'm a little disappointed in it\r\n11:56 AM <~barredowl> red3: yeah.\r\n11:56 AM there's definitely not a lot in the way of conflict or stakes\r\n11:56 AM <+cybersqyd> it feels...like everything just wraps up immediately\r\n11:57 AM <~barredowl> this is sorta leaning into straight-up slice-of-life, but doesn't really delve into it as much as i would to be satisfied with its quirks\r\n11:57 AM just ends up being kinda boring\r\n11:57 AM SharpEmbrace: Yeah, I got that sense of characterization from Aloi's (Aioi? Aloi?) first tale with her being a nervous recruit, but it isn't really seen anywhere else.\r\n11:58 AM <~barredowl> yep, there's no real conflict in here, which is fine if they actually went into the slice-of-life without being repetitive and bland.\r\n11:58 AM <~barredowl> which, to clarify, this piece definitely broke from in terms of the blandness.\r\n11:58 AM also\r\n11:58 AM > This was another grand adventure. She rather liked that.\r\n11:58 AM <~barredowl> or at least somewhat.\r\n11:58 AM this line in the original was the one that attracted me to her character\r\n11:58 AM and we don't really get to see that shown here\r\n11:59 AM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:00 PM gives me more bureaucrat vibes than adventurous\r\n12:00 PM I would have liked more to it than the one arguement, perhaps the Highest's daily routines after this and her exercises for her mentality (Was expecting psionics were gonna be playing into this) but it feels more connected to the universe rather than us peering into one tale and then jumping to another tale which wasn't really connected to the privious one\r\n12:01 PM <~barredowl> yeah.\r\n12:01 PM <~barredowl> it's strange cause, i really see potential for this series turning into something new\r\n12:01 PM also, there's no real takeaway from this tale\r\n12:02 PM <~barredowl> and especially with the two new tale writers coming up (one of which is especially well-versed in slice-of-life, zyn), i'm kinda curious for how this might turn out.\r\n12:02 PM i don't feel like i've gained anything from reading it\r\n12:02 PM <~barredowl> SharpEmbrace: yeah, i didn't really get any resolving idea or theme from this.\r\n12:02 PM very little emotional connection to what happens\r\n12:02 PM <~barredowl> yeah :/\r\n12:02 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:03 PM <~barredowl> tale 2 definitely exemplified the emotional connection which i wish this series involved for me\r\n12:03 PM <+cybersqyd> which I think ties into the lack of conflict: there's never a chance for a feeling of there being stakes to this disagreement to blossom before it's over\r\n12:03 PM <~barredowl> like, we get real estate into these strange characters' minds\r\n12:03 PM <~barredowl> i wish we had more of that\r\n12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:04 PM <~barredowl> there's a lot of potential here set up from the first couple tales\r\n12:04 PM <~barredowl> but it just fizzled out for me at this point.\r\n12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> i would've loved a sense of her like, manipulating the foundation here\r\n12:04 PM <+cybersqyd> like, deliberately playing dumb so they go easy or something\r\n12:05 PM Yeah, there isn't a sense that these are truly alien characters. They feel more like socially anxious researchers with some weird names rather than people from a radically different civilization and level of anomalous integration.\r\n12:05 PM she just kinda brute force\r\n12:05 PM forced it\r\n12:05 PM alternatively\r\n12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> red3, yeah I agree\r\n12:05 PM it would be interesting for them to reject her outright\r\n12:05 PM and see how she deals with that\r\n12:05 PM <+cybersqyd> there's occasionally nods to the alienness but there's not really any like...depth to it?\r\n12:05 PM \"Your people caused the death of one my agents. We want them to be sent back.\" \"No.\" \"Okay.\"\r\n12:06 PM <+cybersqyd> yep\r\n12:06 PM <~barredowl> yeah :/\r\n12:06 PM i agree that there's very little gap between the two groups\r\n12:06 PM their behaviour isn't fundamentally different\r\n12:07 PM <~barredowl> unfortunately, yeah\r\n12:07 PM I like Sharp's idea here. Having them force the characters to deal with the consequences of their actions by potentially booting them out of the story could really bring some interesting dynamics. They don't even have to leave if the author wants to keep them in, just have the Empress manipulate some people or create a situation in which those characters have to be there. It could also make the characters more memorable \r\n12:07 PM and give them a concrete goal besides just \"learn stuff and don't break shit\".\r\n12:07 PM <~barredowl> also, this is kinda off-topic, but my mental image of these people are a little all over the place.\r\n12:07 PM yes! they need objectives and challenges\r\n12:07 PM this is a fish-out-of-water story\r\n12:08 PM we need to see them adapting to the monumental change in their environment\r\n12:08 PM <~barredowl> like, i was kinda thinking these were insectoids, but looking back they seem to be more hominid in nature?\r\n12:08 PM <+cybersqyd> gonna be honest, i have no idea what they look like\r\n12:09 PM i am equally baffled\r\n12:09 PM barredowl: I keep imagining them as the ethereals from XCOM: Enemy Unknown\r\n12:09 PM they're kinda human but also not i guess\r\n12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i think the original design was left up from the 1483 articles\r\n12:09 PM <~barredowl> yeah\r\n12:09 PM <~barredowl> this really feels like a case of \"alien creature who still acts like a human\"\r\n12:09 PM <~barredowl> which, can still be interesting\r\n12:09 PM <~barredowl> but it's not really giving me a good mental image.\r\n12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> > The sapient inhabitants of SCP-1483 are designated as SCP-1483-1, Homo antarcticus.\r\n12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> that to me implies they're basically human\r\n12:10 PM <~barredowl> yeah\r\n12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> not like...exactly human but not far off\r\n12:10 PM <~barredowl> though i do like the idea of huge mantis-type creatures\r\n12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:10 PM <~barredowl> even though that would be pretty impractical\r\n12:10 PM <~barredowl> in the, y'know, south pole\r\n12:10 PM <+cybersqyd> yeah\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> i actually kinda want to draw that\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> anyway\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> getting kinda off-topic\r\n12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> oops\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> so should we wrap up with some final conclusions or do you think this is an ok place to end the conversation?\r\n12:11 PM <+cybersqyd> i don't have more to add\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> hmm, alright.\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> me neither, unfortunately\r\n12:11 PM i'm generally pretty disappointed with this canon so far\r\n12:11 PM <~barredowl> i guess there wasn't a lot to talk about here.\r\n12:11 PM Same, I have nothing more to add\r\n12:12 PM This has the bare bones of some more cliched story beats, so it bores me from the get go and doesn't have the sheer talent or charm to pull it off.\r\n12:12 PM <~barredowl> yeah, i was kinda wishing this would be an underrated gem of some kind\r\n12:12 PM <~barredowl> but it's just not living up to my expectations\r\n12:12 PM <~barredowl> kinda like chicago spirit\r\n","name":"From On High","extension":"txt","url":"https://www.irccloud.com/pastebin/1V4swq8U/From+On+High","modified":1589051569,"id":"1V4swq8U","size":10523,"lines":129,"own_paste":false,"theme":"","date":1589051569}